First off what world does this person live in?  It was a woman who made the comment.  In my world dead bodies will line the streets for $750 million, people would give up body parts, sell their children and perform more unspeakable acts than can be imagined.

So putting up with any man or woman that didn’t cause permanent physical damage to you is a shoe in for the things that people would do for a fraction of this amount.

If they said we have $750 million and the last one alive gets it, there would probably be a huge number of people who would go for it.

This is why there is such a disconnect in society.  If you were already well off there are a host of things that you would do to get better off.  Money can only buy you so much and if you already have what you want and enough to keep it then there is no desire to have a bunch more.  However if you are struggling for survival with the masses it is totally different.  Giving up a limb to someone who is deep in debt and just trying to keep fed is a much different choice than if you were living in high society and money while nice isn’t going to put you too much higher.  In fact to a lot of people more money of this magnitude can cause more problems than it is worth.

So, Tiger needs to do the right thing and take care of his kids and other than that it’s up to the lawyers and personally I really don’t care how it goes.

AllWomenAreCrazy.com

Thank you Jesse James!

While we feel sorry for Sandra Bullock, we are ecstatic that she is back on the market.  Single guys everywhere send there thanks to Jesse James!  Oh and by the way, how big of a dumb shit are you?

My real question is how do women ever even fall for these assholes?  This is not the first hot babe he has seduced, so what gives?

And Sandra babe, we are here for you.  Bad decisions are just a fact of life.  Pick yourself up and make better decisions in the future.

We love you babe!

Catch you on the rebound.

AllWomenAreCrazy.com

Well the end is apparently near, a beauty pageant without a swimsuit competition? Are you on crack? Apparently the Miss England Pageant is. 2009 Miss England Katrina Hodge has apparently convinced the pageant to eliminate the swimsuits and put in a sports-challenge?

Because being athletic is more important than looking good in a beauty contest? Why don’t we just put them all in a separate room and talk to them? Come on! You obviously can’t have any normal sporting event as it would slant the competition to much. So you are going to have to have some bullshit event.

And the kicker is that Katrina Hodge is a lingerie model, but apparently thinks that appearing in a swimsuit is too much pressure. Please.

“I think it’s nerve-racking enough for girls to get up on a stage and speak, let alone appear in a swimsuit,” said Hodge.

So eliminate the questions, they really serve no purpose, as this isn’t a inner beauty contest. And if you want to remove the swimsuits we are ok with that, you can go nude.

Top 10 questions men would like answered by pageant contestants:

1. Would you do me?
2. What’s your phone number?
3. Are those real?
4. Do the curtains match the drapes?
5. Want to go to my place?
6. How about another drink?
7. What would you do to win?
8. Did you blow a judge?
9. Would you do me?
10. Wanna go back to my place?

AllWomenAreCrazy.com

She stops reading Glamour and starts reading Guns and Ammo.
She considers chocolate a major FDA food group.
She puts on one of those pads with "wings," then flies off the roof laughing hysterically while riding a broom.
She’s developed a new talent for spinning her head around in 360 degree circles.
She retains more water than Lake Superior.
She denies she’s in a bad mood as she pops a clip into her semiautomatic and "chambers one."
She buys you a new T-shirt—–with a bulls-eye on the front.
You ask her to please pass the salt at the dinner table and she says,"All I ever do is give, give, give! AM I SUPPOSED TO DO EVERYTHING?"
She enrolls in the Lizzie Borden School of Charm.
She orders 3 Big Macs, 4 large fries, a bucket of Chicken McNuggets, and then mauls the manager because they’re out of Diet Coke.

AllWomenAreCrazy.com

AllWomenAreCrazy.com

Any Man who brings a camera to a bachelor party may be legally killed and eaten by his fellow partygoers.

Under no circumstances may two men share an umbrella.

It is ok for a man to cry under the following circumstances:
a. When a heroic dog dies to save it’s master
b. The moment Angelina Jolie starts unbuttoning her blouse
c. After wrecking your boss’ Ferrari
d. One hour, 12 minutes, 37 seconds into The Crying Game

Unless he murdered someone in your family, you must bail a friend out of jail within 12 hours.

Acceptable excuse for not helping a friend move: Your legs have been severed in a freak threshing accident.

If you’ve known a guy for more than 24 hours, his sister is off limits forever, unless you actually marry her.

The minimum amount of time you have to wait for a guy who’s running late is 5 minutes. Maximum.

Complaining about the brand of free beer in a buddy’s fridge is forbidden. Gripe at will if the temperature is unsuitable.

No man shall ever be required to buy a birthday present for another man. (in fact, even remembering your buddy’s birthday is strictly optional).

When stumbling upon other guys watching a sporting event, you may always ask the score of the game in progress, but you may never ask who’s playing.

It is permissible to quaff a fruity chick drink only when you’re sunning on a tropical beach….and it’s delivered by a topless supermodel…and it’s free.

Unless you’re in prison, never fight naked.
Friends don’t let friends wear Speedos. Ever. Issue closed.
If a man’s zipper is down, that’s his problem—you didn’t see nothin’.

Women who claim they "love to watch sports" must be treated as spies until they demonstrate knowledge of the game and the ability to pick a buffalo wing clean.

You must offer heartfelt and public condolences over the death of a girlfriend’s cat, even if it was you who secretly set it on fire and threw it into a ceiling fan.

Never join your girlfriend or wife in dissing a buddy of yours, except if she’s withholding sex pending your response.

Never talk to a man in a bathroom unless you are on equal footing: both urinating, both waiting in line, etc. For all other situations, an almost imperceptible nod is all the conversation you need.

You cannot rat out a coworker who shows up at work with a massive hangover. You may however, hide the aspirin, smear his chair with limburger cheese, turn the brightness dial all the way down so he thinks his monitor is broken, and have him paged over the loudspeaker every seven minutes.

Finally…Always split aces and eights. No arguments!

AllWomenAreCrazy.com

AllWomenAreCrazy.com

Good girls say "thanks for a wonderful dinner"…
Bad girls say, "what’s for breakfast?"
Good girls never go after another girl’s man…
Bad girls go after him AND his brother.
Good girls wear white cotton panties…
Bad girls don’t wear any.
Good girls wax their floors…
Bad girls wax their bikini lines.
Good girls loosen a few buttons when it’s hot…
Bad girls make it hot by loosening a few buttons.
Good girls make chicken for dinner…
Bad girls make reservations.
Good girls blush during bedrooms scenes in movies…
Bad girls know they could do better.
Good girls never consider sleeping with the boss…
Bad girls never do either, unless he’s very, very rich.
Good girls believe you’re not fully dressed without a strand of pearls…
Bad girls believe that you are fully dressed with JUST a strand of pearls.
Good girls love italian food…
Bad girls love italian waiters.

AllWomenAreCrazy.com

Glow in the dark sunglasses
Solar powered flashlights
The water-proof towel
Submarine screen doors
A book on how to read
Inflatable dart boards
A dictionary index
Reusable ice cubes
See through toilet tissue
Skinless bananas
Do it yourself road map
Helicopter ejector seat
Powdered water
Pedal powered wheel chairs
Water proof tea bags
Watermelon seed sorter
Zero proof alcohol

AllWomenAreCrazy.com

AllWomenAreCrazy.com

A blonde from California decides to try horseback riding, even though she has had no lessons or prior experience.  She mounts the horse unassisted and the horse immediately springs into motion.  It gallops along at a steady and rhythmic pace, but the blonde begins to slip from the saddle.

In terror, she grabs for the horse’s mane, but cannot seem to get a firm grip.  She tries to throw her arms around the horse’s neck, but she slides down the side of the horse anyway.  The horse gallops along, seemingly oblivious to its slipping rider.  Finally, giving up her frail grip, she leaps away from the horse to try and throw herself to safety.

Unfortunately, her foot has become entangled in the stirrup; she is now at the mercy of the horse’s pounding hooves as her head is struck against the ground over and over.  As her head is battered against the ground, she is mere moments away from unconsciousness when to her great fortune . . . the Supermarket manager sees her and shuts the horse off.

AllWomenAreCrazy.com

1. Bicycles don’t pregnant.
2. You can ride your bicycle any time of the month.
3. You can share your bicycles with your friends.
4. Bicycles don’t care how many other bicycles you’ve ridden.
5. When riding, you and your bicycle can arrive at the same time.
6. Bicycles don’t have parents.
7. Bicycles don’t whine unless something is really wrong.
8. Bicycles don’t care how many other bicycles you have now.
9. Bicycles don’t care if you look at other bicycles.
10. Bicycles don’t care if you buy bicycle magazines.
11. You’ll never hear, “Surprise, you’re going to own a new bicycle” unless you go out and buy one yourself.
12. If your bicycle goes flat, you can fix it.
13. If your bicycle is too loose, you can tighten it.
14. If your bicycle gets misaligned, you don’t have to discuss politics with it.
15. You can have a black bicycle and bring it home to your parents.
16. You don’t have to be jealous of the guy who works on your bicycle.
17. If you say bad things to your bicycle, you don’t have to apologize before you ride it again.
18. You can ride your bicycle as long as you want and it wont get sore.
19. You can stop riding your bicycle as soon as you want and it wont get frustrated.
20. You don’t have to take a shower before you ride your bicycle.
21. If your bicycle doesn’t look good, you can paint it or get better parts.
22. You can ride your bicycle the first time you meet it without having to take it to dinner, see a movie, or meet its mother.
23. The only protection you need to wear when riding your bicycle is a decent helmet.
24. When in mixed company, you can talk about what a great ride you had the last time you were on your bicycle.
25. Your parents won’t remain in touch with your old bicycle after you dump it.
26. Bicycles don’t get headaches.
27. Bicycles don’t insult you if you’re a bad rider.
28. Your bicycle never wants a night out with other bicycles.
29. Bicycles don’t care if you’re late.

AllWomenAreCrazy.com

Add new reasons in the comments below!

AllWomenAreCrazy.com

1. If you think you are fat, you probably are. Do not ask us. We refuse to answer.

2. Learn to work the toilet seat. If it’s up, Put it down.

3. Do not cut your hair. Ever. Long hair is always more attractive than short hair. One of the big reasons guys fear getting married is that married women always cut their hair, and by then, you are stuck with her.

4. Birthdays, Valentines, and Anniversaries are not quests to see if we can find the perfect present yet again!

5. If you ask a question you don’t want an answer to, expect an answer you do not want to hear.

6. Sometimes, we are not thinking about you. Live with it.

7. Do not ask us what we are thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as navel lint, the shotgun formation and monster trucks.

8. Sunday = sports. It’s like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

9. Shopping is not a sport, and no, we are never going to think of it that way.

10. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really.

11. You have enough clothes.

12. Your ex-boyfriend is an idiot.

13. You have too many shoes.

14. Crying is blackmail.

15. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work. Strong hints do not work. Obvious hints do not work. Just say it!

16. No, we do not know what day it is. We never will. Mark anniversaries on a calendar.

17. Yes, peeing standing up is more difficult. We are bound to miss sometimes.

18. Most guys own three pairs of shoes. What makes you think we’d be any good at choosing which pair, out of thirty, would look good with your dress?

19. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

20. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That is what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

21. It is neither in your best interest nor ours to take the quiz together.

22. No, it does not matter which quiz.

23. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. All comments become null and void after 7 days.

24. If you won’t dress like the Victoria’s Secret girls, don’t expect us to act like soap opera guys.

25. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

26. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

27. Foreign films are best left to foreigners.

28. Check your oil.

29. Do not fake it. We would rather be ineffective than deceived.

30. Let us ogle. We are going to look anyway; it is genetic.

31. Don’t rub the lamp if you don’t want the genie to come out.

32. You can either ask us to do something OR tell us how you want it done-not both.

33. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

34. Christopher Columbus did not need directions, and neither do we.

35. Women wearing Wonderbras and low-cut blouses lose their right to complain about having their boobs stared at.

36. More women should wear Wonderbras and low-cut blouses. We like staring at boobs.

37. The relationship is never going to be like it was the first two months we were going out.

38. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like windows default settings. Peach is a fruit, not a color.

39. Pumpkin is also a fruit.

40. If it itches, it will be scratched.

41. Beer is as exciting for us as handbags are for you.

42. If it is OUR house, I do not understand why MY stuff gets thrown in the closet/attic/basement.

43. We are not mind readers and we never will be. Our lack of mind-reading ability is not proof of how little we care about you.

44. If we ask what is wrong and you say “nothing,” we will act like nothing’s wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

45. If we hear from an old girlfriend, we will briefly fantasize about having sex with her. But do not worry; the fantasy includes you AND her, together.

46. What the hell is a doily?