A Blonde on the Way to the Airport…
Friday, May 28th, 2010A blonde was on her way to the airport. She read a sign that said ‘Airport Left’, so she turned around and went home.
Archive for the ‘Blonde Jokes’ Category
Blonde Inventions
Thursday, August 27th, 2009Blonde Inventions
Glow in the dark sunglasses
Solar powered flashlights
The water-proof towel
Submarine screen doors
A book on how to read
Inflatable dart boards
A dictionary index
Reusable ice cubes
See through toilet tissue
Skinless bananas
Do it yourself road map
Helicopter ejector seat
Powdered water
Pedal powered wheel chairs
Water proof tea bags
Watermelon seed sorter
Zero proof alcohol
A Blonde Goes Horseback Riding….
Monday, August 24th, 2009A Blonde Goes Horseback Riding….
A blonde from California decides to try horseback riding, even though she has had no lessons or prior experience. She mounts the horse unassisted and the horse immediately springs into motion. It gallops along at a steady and rhythmic pace, but the blonde begins to slip from the saddle.
In terror, she grabs for the horse’s mane, but cannot seem to get a firm grip. She tries to throw her arms around the horse’s neck, but she slides down the side of the horse anyway. The horse gallops along, seemingly oblivious to its slipping rider. Finally, giving up her frail grip, she leaps away from the horse to try and throw herself to safety.
Unfortunately, her foot has become entangled in the stirrup; she is now at the mercy of the horse’s pounding hooves as her head is struck against the ground over and over. As her head is battered against the ground, she is mere moments away from unconsciousness when to her great fortune . . . the Supermarket manager sees her and shuts the horse off.
Blonde Jokes #1
Monday, August 17th, 2009Blonde Jokes #1
How did the blonde die raking leaves? She fell out of the tree!
Why do blondes smile during lightning storms? They think someone is taking their picture.
How do blonde brain cells die? Alone.
How can you know a blonde’s used the computer? There’s white-out on the screen.
What did the blonde say when she knocked over the priceless Ming vase? “It’s OK Daddy, I’m not hurt.
Why don’t blondes double recipes? The oven doesn’t go to 700 degrees.
What do you call an unmarried blonde in a BMW? Divorcee
What do you call it when a blonde dyes her hair brunette? Artificial intelligence.
Why do men like blonde jokes? Because they can understand them.
Why should blondes not be given coffee breaks? It takes too long to retrain them
How do you get a blondes eyes to twinkle? Shine a torch in her ears.
What does a blonde owl say? What, what?
What do you call a blonde in an institution of higher learning? A visitor.
How can you tell if a blonde is a good cook? She gets the pop tarts out of the toaster in one piece.
What is every blonde’s ambition? To be like Vanna White and learn the alphabet.
What do you call a brunette with a blonde on either side? An interpreter.
Why don’t blondes have elevator jobs? They don’t know the route.
Why do blondes have little holes all over their faces? From eating with forks.
What do you call five blondes at the bottom of the pool? Air bubbles.
Why don’t blondes make good pharmacists? They can’t get the bottle into the typewriter.
How can you tell when a fax had been sent from a blonde? There is a stamp on it.
Why don’t blondes call 911 in an emergency? She can’t find the number 11 on the telephone buttons.
What do you call a blonde with 2 brain cells? Pregnant.
What would a blonde do with a brain if she had one? Save it for later
How many blondes does it take to make chocolate chip cookies? Seven… One to make the dough and six to peel the M&M’s.
What do you call three blondes in a freezer? Frosted Flakes
What do blondes wear behind their ears to attract men? Their heels.
Why is it good to have a blonde passenger? You can park in the handicap zone.
