It’s Rough Being a Guy

AllWomenAreCrazy.com

Woe is us men………

If you put a woman on a pedestal and try to protect her from the rat race, you’re a male chauvinist.
If you stay home and do the housework, you’re a sissy.

If you work too hard, there is never any time for her.
If you don’t work enough, you’re a good-for-nothing bum.

If she has a boring repetitive job with low pay, this is exploitation.
If you have a boring repetitive job with low pay, you should get off your but and find something better.

If you mention how nice she looks, it’s sexual harassment.
If you keep quiet, it’s male indifference.

If you get a promotion ahead of her, that is favoritism.
If she gets a job ahead of you, it’s equal opportunity.

If you cry, you’re a wimp.
If you don’t, you’re an insensitive jerk.

If you thump her, it’s wife bashing.
If she thumps you, it’s self defense.

If you make a decision without consulting her, you’re a chauvinist.
If she makes a decision without consulting you, she’s a liberated woman.

If you appreciate the female form and frilly underwear, you’re a pervert.
If you don’t, you’re a fag.

If you ask her to do something she doesn’t enjoy, that’s domination.
If she asks you, it’s a favor.

If you like a woman to shave her legs and keep in shape, you’re sexist.
If you don’t, you’re unromantic.

If you try to keep yourself in shape, you’re vain.
If you don’t, you’re a slob.

If you buy her flowers, you’re after something.
If you don’t, you’re not thoughtful.

If you’re proud of your achievements, you’re up on yourself.
If you don’t, you’re not ambitious.

If she has a headache, she’s tired.
If you have a headache, you don’t love her anymore.

If you want it too often, you’re oversexed.
If you don’t, there must be someone else.

Have more?  Post them in a comment.

AllWomenAreCrazy.com

Blonde Jokes #1

How did the blonde die raking leaves? She fell out of the tree!

Why do blondes smile during lightning storms? They think someone is taking their picture.

How do blonde brain cells die? Alone.

How can you know a blonde’s used the computer? There’s white-out on the screen.

What did the blonde say when she knocked over the priceless Ming vase? “It’s OK Daddy, I’m not hurt.

Why don’t blondes double recipes? The oven doesn’t go to 700 degrees.

What do you call an unmarried blonde in a BMW? Divorcee

What do you call it when a blonde dyes her hair brunette? Artificial intelligence.

Why do men like blonde jokes? Because they can understand them.

Why should blondes not be given coffee breaks? It takes too long to retrain them

How do you get a blondes eyes to twinkle? Shine a torch in her ears.

What does a blonde owl say? What, what?

What do you call a blonde in an institution of higher learning? A visitor.

How can you tell if a blonde is a good cook? She gets the pop tarts out of the toaster in one piece.

What is every blonde’s ambition? To be like Vanna White and learn the alphabet.

What do you call a brunette with a blonde on either side? An interpreter.

Why don’t blondes have elevator jobs? They don’t know the route.

Why do blondes have little holes all over their faces? From eating with forks.

What do you call five blondes at the bottom of the pool? Air bubbles.

Why don’t blondes make good pharmacists? They can’t get the bottle into the typewriter.

How can you tell when a fax had been sent from a blonde? There is a stamp on it.

Why don’t blondes call 911 in an emergency? She can’t find the number 11 on the telephone buttons.

What do you call a blonde with 2 brain cells? Pregnant.

What would a blonde do with a brain if she had one? Save it for later

How many blondes does it take to make chocolate chip cookies? Seven… One to make the dough and six to peel the M&M’s.

What do you call three blondes in a freezer? Frosted Flakes

What do blondes wear behind their ears to attract men? Their heels.

Why is it good to have a blonde passenger? You can park in the handicap zone.